Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
