you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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