they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So squirting runs in the family.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You made out with two different species that night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
