I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
