If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
