He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
