Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
