is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
