At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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