Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
