The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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