That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
