Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
