He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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