I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
