Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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