Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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