i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think people are normalizing furries
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
