I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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