dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
