he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
