Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
