The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
