I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
