Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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