Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
