I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
