No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
