I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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