if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
