Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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