its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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