went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
