can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
