im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
