I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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