i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
