it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
