Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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