Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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