you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Text me some of your sweat
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
