note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
