So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
