U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize