i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
