I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
