Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize