But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
