So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
