I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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