He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize