i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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