Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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