Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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