I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
either way he was missing a nipple.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize