She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
