dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Randomize
