i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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