The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
