Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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