You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
