Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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