My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
