Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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