3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
