I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
