his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Life is so much better after having sex.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
