If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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