what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
