drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
