You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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