if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
