and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize